Slap Happy Hermione!
by peachypenguin
Summary: What happens when Hermione eats too many Bertie Botts Every Flavoe Beans? She goes SLAP HAPPY!! (yes, i have had waaay 2 mych sugar!)
1. the madness begins

What happens when I have too much sugar? I start writing really weird fics!!What happens when Hermione eats too many  
  
Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans? She becomes SLAP HAPPY OF COURSE!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own nothing but the pink radioactive penguins, and if u use them, then beware!!!!!!!!!! Cuz I'll get  
  
ya!! Mwahahaha!!!  
  
It was Hermione's birthday. She had gotten a bunch of presents sent to her from her parents. Harry had gotten her  
  
some rainbow colored ink, and Ron gave her a book. But Hagrid did something that may have meant the end of Hogwarts  
  
as we know it. He sent Hermione a HUGE bag of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans. Now, she had had this candy before,  
  
but never in a huge amount like this! Well, that night she got really, really, REALLY hungary, so she pulled the Beans  
  
out from under her bed and devoured the whole bag.  
  
The next morning, Hermione woke up with a strange feeling. She got up, and got herself dressed in her Hogwarts  
  
uniform. Then Lavender stared complaining because her hair was in tangles and couldn't be brushed through, and tthat  
  
kind of thing really bothered Lavender. Well, for some odd reason, and no one really knew why, because it happened  
  
often, Hermione found this really, really funny. She started giggling, then right out laughing which turned into hysarical  
  
laughter! She just laughed and laughed until she just slapped herself. She stopped laughing. It had hurt. She found that  
  
very funny as well!!!  
  
Eventually, Hermione had calmed down enough to get to the common room and then down to breakfast. She sat  
  
down between Ron and Harry, talking perfectly normally, despite the weird looks she was getting from her fellow  
  
Gryfindor females. That is, until Dumbledore got up to make an announcement. Hermione began to chuckle softly as he  
  
stood up.  
  
"Now, I would like to inform you all that potions classes.." He was interrupted by roaring laughter at the  
  
Gryfindor table. Everyone's heads turned and looked at Hermione, who just then fell on the floor, laughing  
  
uncontrollably. Dumbledor in particular looked particularly disturbed.  
  
"Miss Granger," he began, smiling, "would you please come up here and inform us what is so very funny. You  
  
are not in trouble, I'd just like to know."  
  
Hermione, with great difficulty, walked to the head table, still laughing her head off. She stood up there for a few  
  
moments, laughing, when all of a sudden the Great Hall was filled with the noise of a great ~SMACK!~ Hermione  
  
stopped laughing abruptly. She looked in horror at the hand mark that remained on Dumbledore's cheek. She put her  
  
hands to here mouth. The rest of the students in the Hall weren't sure weather to laugh, or be afraid for Hermione.  
  
"You may return to your seat and finish your meal, Miss Granger." Dumbledore said, in confused shock.  
  
"Y-y-yes s-sir." Hermione answered, shaking from head to toe.  
  
As the students left the Hall to go to their classes, Harry and Ron asked Hermione what was going on.  
  
"What the heck was that Hermy? What's with the laughing and the Dumbledor-slapping and all tat werd stuff that's happened? Parveti even said somethin' bout you laughin' likr that this morning to!" Ron said.  
  
"I have no clue whats wrong with me today. I feel all.. I don't know. weird inside, and little things make me  
  
laugh, and then I slap someone!! Oh I wish I knew what was wrong with me!"  
  
Harry looked worried. This wasn't like his friend at all. "Are you gonna be ok Hermy?" he asked.  
  
"I think so." She answered, as the rounded into potions class.  
  
Did ya like it? Well if ya didn't, then that just sux 4 u! u can review if ya feel like it but if u are boring, and thought it was the stupidest thing, then I don't want your review so there! Actually, I changed my mind I do!! Hehe! Ill make a new chapter eventually, if I get at least 1 review!! Byebyes!!! 


	2. hemione goes LOOPY!

Hi!!! Welcome 2 chapter 2 of my weirded story!! U guys seemed 2 like the first chapter, but bwahahah!! Encouregment isn't  
  
always good if u intend 2 keep your sanity!!!! Hehehehe!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own none of it cept the plot and eventually if I feel like putting em in the story, the pink radioactive  
  
penguins!  
  
Hermione, Harry, and Ron entered the dungeon. Hermione looked around nervously as people began whispering and looking  
  
at her. Everyone had seen her outburst at breakfast. (A/N they're in 7th year cuz I just realized that I never mentioned that) She was  
  
very disappointed to realize that the only three seats together were right by Draco Malfoy. Ron and Harry raced to the seats that  
  
weren't next to him. Poor Hermione. Malfoy was at a loss for words. He coulnd't even think of an insult he was so shocked by her  
  
behavior.  
  
"Now class, you are going to pair up for this next assignment. As there are four of you to a table, the two on the right will be  
  
partners, as with the two on the left. We're going to be making a Pink Potion. It will turn anything it touches pink for at least a week,  
  
so take care not to touch it." Professor Snape said in his usual tone of voice. He explained how to make the potion and set them to  
  
work.  
  
"Sorry Hermy." Ron said as he realized that she was stuck with Draco Malfoy.  
  
Don't be Hermione thought to herself. No one in the whole wide world new that she actually had a thing for Malfoy.  
  
Well they began putting the ingreadients in their cauldron. It was all going ok. Hermione and Draco were talking to each  
  
other as little as humanly possible, and their potion was turning out well. That is until Hermione accedently stepped on Malfoy's  
  
foot..  
  
"OWWWWWW!" he yelled, spilling his whole bag of rat ears into the cauldron. The potion exploded with a bang of purple  
  
smoke. When the loud hissing sound stopped, everyone heard another sound. The sound of uncontrollable laughter. Hermione was on  
  
the floor laughing hystaricly. Everyone turned to look at her. Draco looked considerably disturbed. He reached his hand tward her,  
  
offering to help her up.  
  
She took his hand, and with trouble, as she was still laughing as hard as ever, stood up.  
  
"Granger?" Draco looked sincerely worried. "Are you. ok?" ~SMACK!~ Draco looked at her absolutely dumbfounded.  
  
Hermione's laughter died down. It was replaced by Ron, Harry, and the rest of the Gryfondors. Even some Slytherins who hadn't  
  
managed a stifled chuckle. Snape came over to the table. Everyone stopped laughing, except some mean Slytherins who giggled to  
  
each other, knowing Hermione's fate.  
  
Snape gave her a downright EVIL glare. Hermione felt a smile on her lips and tried really hard not to laugh.  
  
She failed miserably. Before Snape could say 'detention' Hermione was laughing like a hyena again. She tried to stop  
  
knowing how much trouble she'd be in, but it was no use. ~SMACK!~  
  
But the slap the Snape had received, was not like the others, it completely knocked him out. The Gryfendors cheered. But,  
  
also, this 'attack' if you will, was not like the others. Hermione's laughter doubled instead of subsiding.  
  
Harry was the first to notice this. "Hermione, are you all right?" ~SMACK!~ He fell to the floor, but wasn't knocked out like  
  
Snape.  
  
Ron started on her as he helped Harry up. "Herm!! What'd ya do that for!!" ~SMACK!~ He fall down go boom. Draco began  
  
to chuckle softly. Hermione herd him. ~SMACK!~ He too was struck down by Slap Happy Hermione. The other students realized  
  
how dangerous it was to stay in that room with the laughing Hermione on the rampage, and scrambled out of that dungeon as fast as  
  
their legs would carry them.  
  
Draco hadn't gotten away. ~SMACK!~ ~SMACK!~ ~SMACK!~ Hermione laughed and laughed and laughed, until she ran  
  
out of the room like a crazed maniac.  
  
I gotta stop her before she takes out the whole school!!!! Draco thought. But that girl's got a lota muscle!! I'm scared!!!! He  
  
sat there until he herd a REALLY REALLY LOUD series of ~SMACKS!~ Then he cowered under the table, in fear she'd come after  
  
him again.  
  
  
  
The plot thickens!!! So how'd ya'll like the second chapter? I actually hadn't meant for the story to go in this direction, but I  
  
like it betta this way! My I do suprize myself sumtimes!! Hehe!! Read and review! If I get enough, I'll continue! Hey, and gimme  
  
some ideas for Hermione's next victims!! I have some ideas, BUT I WANT MORE! MWAHAHAHA!!! Byebyes! ~_^ 


	3. Here comes draco 2 save the day! maby!

Yay! Another chapter! Andy shall b so happy!  
  
Disclaimer: me don't own cept pink radioactive penguins those r copyrighted (sorta) by ME so don't ya steal them or ill get u! I  
  
know where u live! (sorta)  
  
Hermione ran through the halls, laughing hysarically, slapping everyone in sight. Unconsience students as well as teachers  
  
littered the corridors. Ron and Harry had taken to hiding. They weren't the only ones either.  
  
Back in the potions room, Malfoy was fighting an inner battle. Weather to stop Hermione, or to continue to cower under  
  
the table. He acted tough, but really, he was just a scared little boy. He to just stay where he was. It was a lot safer that way!  
  
Meanwhile, Fred and George, who were back in the Gryfindor common room, had no idea what was going on. They were  
  
too busy working on there latest creation, Penguin Puffs, to notice the noise from outside. Slowly, the portrait hole swung open,  
  
emitting a loud laughing sound. Fred and George stopped what they were doing. Hermione walked in. The twins knew something  
  
wasn't right. Hermione backed them into a corner, still laughing like a crazed maniac (which at the moment she was!)!! ~SMACK  
  
SMACK!~ They fell to the floor in a heap. The force of the blow caused the Penguin Puff to fly through the walls out into the  
  
cooridor.  
  
~BOINK!~ Some thing hit Draco on the head. It was a puffy little muffin. "Oh goody! I was getting very hungry!" He  
  
gobbled it in one bite. Immedately he felt strange. He got up, but started waddling. He was a penguin!!! And he sure wasn't very good at waddling!! He tripped and fell into he and Hermione's messed up potion. He got out glowing hot pink!!! " O dear, I believe I've turned into a pink radioactive penguin!!!" He observed. "Ha! Now she can't hurt me!! Mwahaha!!" And he scampered into the hall.  
  
Harry and Ron were sick of hiding, so they decided to go see Hagrid. Maby he'd know what to do about the situation. They  
  
cautiously scampered through the hallway, out the door, and across the grounds to Hagrid's house. They banged on the door, which  
  
was answered by Hagrid. " She ate 'em all, didn't she?" He asked.  
  
"Ate all what?" Ron asked, very confused (as usual).  
  
"I heard the smackin' all the way from me hut!! Did Hermione eat all the Bertie Botts Beans?"  
  
"Maby. I didn't know that they'd do THAT though!!"  
  
"If eaten in large quantities, yep, they do. But the only way to stop her, is to get someone to knock her out by slap-  
  
happyness. Harry, who can do it?"  
  
"Malfoy!!!" Ron and Harry said in unison. The three went back to the castle, and announced over the loudspeaker that  
  
Draco Malfoy was to report to Hagrid's hut.  
  
Malfoy had figured out that waddling was hopeless, but he could bounce very effecly on his pink tushie, so he bounced to  
  
the hut. There, Harry, Ron, and Hagrid were very supprised to see the new Malfoy.  
  
"Ferget about explainin', this is an emergency! Here! Eat all of these!!!! Now!!!" Hagrid said, stuffing Bertie Botts Every  
  
Flavor Beans down Malfoy's throat.  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!" ~SMACK SMACK SMACK!!!!!!!!!!!! And He ran out the door back to the castle. 


End file.
